Relationship Advice

What to do when he doesn’t text you back – 7 Texting Tips

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Here’s What You Do When Your Guy Won’t Text You Back…

Ever had a guy “go dark” on you?

One minute you’re chatting away, texting, having a flirty little party on your phone…

The next minute –


After a few minutes of radio silence, you feel like responding right away with “YO! Dude? You there?” But you know that sounds desperate, so you wait some more.

But still… nothing.

First of all, it always feel like you’re the “loser” when a guy pulls this stunt on you. You feel a bit “played” when you don’t get the response you desire from it.

That, and the fact that you’ve probably built up some importance to these interactions. And it often hits hard when a guy doesn’t text you back.

Why do guys do this?

Well, I’m going to enlighten you a bit today about why men do this weird little dance with you. Then they disappear.

But first, a couple rules about texting guys – and these are critical for your sanity:

TEXTING RULE 1: Guys don’t think texts are all that “important…”

As a general rule, most guys don’t place the same level of emotional importance on a text conversation that a woman does.

To a guy, texting is just another electronic back-and-forth – like email. Unless there’s something being discussed about meeting up or some logistics, he’s not going to feel an obligation to respond to you.

So remember how guys view texting before you get all caught up in the heat of the moment. YOU may think this interaction means something – but he probably doesn’t. It’s just trivial fun he’s having on the side.

“A man doesn’t consider texting REAL communication. That’s why you MUST get in person with him…” – Carlos Cavallo

TEXTING RULE 2: Guys don’t know how important you think the interaction is…

Because of Rule 1 above, you now know that guys don’t consider texts all that significant.

AND he’s also not aware of just how much importance YOU put on texting. He just assumes you think of it as some harmless distracting fun on the side.

In short:

– A man doesn’t think he’s “disrespecting” you by not replying…
– A man doesn’t see it as ignoring you if he doesn’t reply…
– A man doesn’t think he’s hurting your feelings if he just “disappears…”

I know – it seems crazy that he doesn’t see the world the same way you do – but this is also true in the other direction.

So don’t assume that he’s doing this on purpose to hurt you in some way. He has no idea that you care as much as you do about this texting session. Or the next one…

And really quick – here are a few DON’Ts for you – because avoiding mistakes is most of the battle in keeping him interested…

DON’T Do This When He Stops Texting You: Don’t freak…

So he didn’t reply to you… Don’t panic.

Look, chances are he got interrupted when the texting began, and now you’re left hanging. It was bad luck of the draw.

Just breathe, have a sip of wine, and call up a girlfriend who you can decompress with.

But the most important thing is to have full control over your emotions and not let yourself get drawn into reacting and doing something you might regret.

(Again, if you haven’t seen it, you should watch the movie “Swingers” – and especially the scene where the guy loses control calling the girl he just met. I’ve done the exact same thing – and it really leaves you feeling gross inside.)

DON’T Do This When He Stops Texting You: Don’t cling to the conversation…

If more than 30 minutes goes by, you have to let that text conversation go – like two ships passing in the night.

Don’t text again asking if he got your message….

Don’t give him a follow up call…

And don’t – under any circumstances – send him any variation of, “Why aren’t you replying?? Don’t you like me anymore??”

DON’T Do This When He Stops Texting You: Don’t Assume The Worst…

Don’t assume he’s suddenly lost interest in you in the space of 5 minutes. That’s insecurity talking.

He may not be “testing” you directly, but he is watching to see how you react to these things. So you want to be cool, and show him how ‘put together’ and stable you are.

Okay, now let’s talk about what to DO when a guy won’t text you…

When He Won’t Text You – DO THIS: Keep Your Clown…

The best way to handle any potentially awkward social/romantic situation like this is to

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Carlos Cavallo
Dating Advice Guru
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlosdatingguru
What to do when he doesn’t text you back

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