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Build Trust In Your Relationship With Him…
You probably know that the most important part of your relationship – next to your communication – is the level of trust you have with your man.
If communication is handing cash back and forth – the transactions – then trust is your bank account balance.
Without a nice balance in your account, the trust will not flow between you. And it NEEDS to flow. If you don’t keep a healthy balance, you’ll have frequent bouts of jealousy and insecurity, always wondering if he’s really devoted to you.
And that’s a very unstable place to experience your relationship. In fact, without a really strict budget, your trust and love account could get really overdrawn.
It’s easy to keep a large balance in this account – you just need to know how to build trust regularly with your man.
So today, I’m going to explain how to build up that trust balance in your account with “micro transactions” – using communication!
Here are 5 ways to build trust in your relationship…
Build Trust – #1: BE Trustable…
I know this one should be obvious, but you have to start by coming from a position of BEING trustable to your partner FIRST.
You can’t take trust for granted. And you can’t assume your partner views you as trustable. These days, we all seem to claim some kind of “trust issue” from a previous relationship, or our childhood.
So take the time to really deposit your own emotional “money” in your relationship. Demonstrate that you are trustable.
Make sure you keep your promises, and you follow through on the things you say you’re going to. Sure, every so often we have to withdraw a bit from our account when something comes up.
Maybe you had a date scheduled, and your friend shows up from out of town. You have to cancel on him.
He’ll understand – IF you make it a point to offer a make-up date with him. Or show him in some way that you recognize this is something you want to make right later.
You also want to show that you are reliable to him. Being reliable means we can trust that a person will be there for us when we need them, and it’s an important part of a loving relationship.
Build Trust – #2: Trust – But Verify…
There are two sides to the trust coin…
You can trust, and that trust can be repaid…
You can also trust someone, and feel that maybe there is something going on in the background…
Maybe he’s a bit too secretive. Or his stories don’t seem to jive with what he’s doing.
You don’t want to be the fool and get suckered by him taking advantage of your trust.
But you also don’t want to be suspicious or paranoid and then undermine the confidence in the relationship.
It’s a tricky balance!
You may need to turn up your radar for their stories. And learn to trust your gut when it comes to verifying what they’re saying.
I don’t think you should ever have to resort to following him, or checking his phone, or hiring a private detective, mind you. Once you cross a line, that mistrust then sabotages any of your feelings of stability in a relationship.
Keep your focus on their CONGRUITY – Does what he say he’s doing match his actions?
Build Trust – #3: Be careful of condemnation and self-righteousness…
Most trust issues in our life come from our childhood. Did our parents give us a secure base from which to experience life?
Or did they regularly fall through on their promises and leave us feeling abandoned?
If we have this kind of childhood trust issue, it can be very easy to fall on a habit of feeling mistrustful of people in our life.
One of the ways we demonstrate this is by taking the OPPOSITE stance. If we can’t control how trustworthy other people are, we can surely set ourselves up to be perfect people! We then condemn anyone who breaks our rules for trust.
I used to be very outspoken and judgmental about others and their ability to follow through. If someone broke a promise – no matter how slight – I would immediately push them away in my mind as being untrustworthy.
When we get self-righteous like this, it’s really a protection mechanism. A way to avoid the normal risk in all relationships.
If I push you away first, you can’t hurt me!
But in truth, what we do is we make it so that the other person can’t …
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How to build trust in your relationship