Does He love you?
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What is unconditional love? Is He The ONE?
Unconditional love is the most important kind of love to many people. It symbolizes complete connection with your loved one, with nothing held back.
Not only that, it’s the kind of love that doesn’t rely on special conditions.
It’s the kind of love that says:
“I love you, completely. No limits, and no requirements.”
Some would even say Unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves.
I get a lot of emails asking if that’s possible, though.
Can you really have a love that has NO conditions? They would love you forever without any kind of requirements?
I think most people know this is unrealistic. In order for people to feel fulfilled in a relationship, you have to get something back, too. And that usually means you’ve got your needs that need to be met.
I don’t know about you, but that sound like a condition to me.
Have you ever tried to love someone without asking for anything in return? It usually ends up leaving you feeling pretty raw and used by the end. In a real love relationship between two human beings, there does need to be a few conditions to make it work.
Still, it’s good to ask what unconditional love would mean to you if you could have it.
Or give it.
Let’s take a look at a few definitions of unconditional love that you can use to see if you’re on the path to a relationship you can believe in.
What is Unconditional Love – He’s not trying to change you or make you into someone you’re not…
One of the biggest indicators of an UN-healthy relationship is when either person is trying to change the other one in the relationship.
HISTORY: I was in a relationship once with a newly divorced woman who had an adorable little girl. I was all ready to jump in feet first and be instant daddy.
But cracks started to show in that relationship within the first month.
In the end she broke it off with me, and I was pretty heartbroken. But she was right to have done it.
I’ll never forget what she said at the end. She said:
“You didn’t fall in love with me. You fell in love with my potential.”
Which was exactly what I had done.
I had moved in and started her on an exercise regimen. I got her to quit smoking. She changed her life around to suit what *I* thought she should be.
And when it was obvious that wasn’t who she was, she bailed.
When someone isn’t happy with who you are now, that’s a long way off from Unconditional Love. In fact, it’s about as conditional as you can get.
Over the years, I figured out that if you’re not choosing someone right at the very start who’s a good fit, you can’t sculpt them later. In fact, you’ll probably just make them angry and bitter at you for not accepting them as they are.
So trying to change your partner is the exact opposite of unconditional love.
What is Unconditional Love – He’s Not Into The Score…
One of the best lessons I learned about relationships was that there are always (and yes, I mean ALWAYS) areas that are not going to match your expectations. There are going to be places where you find yourself getting mildly annoyed that it’s not exactly the way you’d like.
I’m only talking about the smaller ones in your relationship, not the huge ones that can be deal-breakers.
What are some deal breakers?
If you have a significant difference in your attitude towards:
Your relationship expectations
Those are some things that you need to be aligned together with.
Some of the things that are typically NOT deal-breakers:
Taste in music
General level of cleanliness (if not TOO far off)
Taste in home furnishings
Taste in movies & TV shows
And honestly, these minor things should NOT be a big deal on their own. Sure, if you have a bunch of small things, those can add up to a deal breaker IF you don’t have any compelling major element to cherish.
For example: I cherish that my wife is aligned with our roles in our relationship. I’m the guy, and I do the guy stuff. And I don’t complain about it.
This may not be for you or for some other folks, but it works for us.
So I choose to overlook the small areas where we don’t match up. I just do that thing that needs doing and I don’t get caught up in…
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What is unconditional love? Is He The ONE?