“Where Is This Going?”- Defining The Relationship – 7 Tips For The Relationship Talk
If there’s one conversation that you’re going to freak out having – it’s the Defining The Relationship (DTR) conversation – otherwise known as the “Where is this going?” relationship talk.
And it should freak you a little. Guys aren’t keen to have this “Where is this going” conversation.
Do you know why?
It’s not because he’s afraid of making a commitment to you…
It’s because he’s afraid of making a commitment that he’s not sure is the right one for him.
You see, guys really need to know that they’re not “betting on the wrong horse” – as the saying goes. He wants to know that this decision is right for him.
He has a lot of questions in his head:
– Is she fun?
– Is she a good match for me?
– Will she support me?
– Will she be LOYAL to me? (Really huge.)
– Will she change after we get married? (Happens a lot)
– and many more…
The fact is that marriage for men is a gamble. No two ways about it.
As evidenced by countless divorces in the U.S. alone, a failed marriage can ruin him financially, and he can lose his children in the process. Women suffer as well, but men often find themselves with the short end of the stick.
There was once a belief (and assumption) that children should always live with their mother following a divorce. Most states no longer have that presumption. (In fact, some states have passed laws stating that there is no custody preference for women over men.)
Despite this change, mothers are still more likely to get custody when the parents divorce. In fact, 9 out of 10 women get custody vs. men.
So men are very careful about making a big commitment.
How To Have The “Defining the relationship” conversation – THE talk!
But rather than get bogged down in all this talk about why some men avoid commitment, I want to help you navigate these tricky waters.
I want to show you how to define the relationship with him – and not worry about asking him “Where is this going?”
Let’s start with:
Tip #1 For Having “The Talk”: Ease Off The Gas…
What I’m saying here is, don’t bring up this relationship conversation on the first date.
Yeah, I know you’ve been through a lot. Crappy dates with boring guys…
Sure, you might have had some good dates in there, too.
But no matter how frustrating you feel dating is, don’t start rushing it!
A lot of women feel that since they haven’t had a lot of good experiences, they might as well cut straight to the point. At the first opportunity they hit a guy with:
“Hey, I’m only interested in a SERIOUS boyfriend. You know? One that will MARRY ME eventually… Is that you?”
Now, I’m sure you probably didn’t say it quite THAT way.
But if you’ve ever decided to sneak in a message of “you better be serious, or hit the road!” – even in the nicest way – you weren’t helping your cause.
Don’t have “THE TALK” out of frustration!
Guys don’t respond well to this message. It feels like you’re rushing things, no matter what your actual intentions are.
He’ll think you’re a possible gold digger. I know, it seems weird, but this is one of those things that will come up in his head later.
He’ll think you’re impatient. If you can’t wait for things to progress naturally, you probably won’t be much fun.
You’ll seem low in self-confidence, low in value, and high in insecurity. That’s what men hear when a woman tries to push things along. Oh yeah, he’ll think you’re pushy, too.
Trying to avoid pain by “being up front” with him will only backfire on you. Relationships (and love) grow by taking your time, and having some faith.
TOUGH LOVE: If you’re too fragile to let things develop naturally, you probably shouldn’t …
Where is this going?
FIND OUT THE ANSWER – IN THE VIDEO…
** SUBSCRIBE for More Videos:
Dating Advice Guru
Where is This Going? Defining the Relationship With The Talk