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How To Play Hard To Get – AND WIN: 5 Tips
Knowing how to play hard to get is one of the most essential skills in dating and starting a relationship on the right foot.
But playing hard to get has gotten a bad name in recent years. Almost everyone thinks that it’s a horrible manipulative mind game.
But it’s not!
The truth is that it’s an important and playful way to “tug-o-war” in a healthy way with your love dynamic. IF you know how it’s supposed to work!
But the question many women wonder about up front is:
Should You Play Hard To Get?
I could beat around the bush about this for a few paragraphs, but I’ll just tell you up front that
YES – you should play hard to get!
But only every so often.
It’s not something you do every day – or even every week.
Let me give you a few of the reasons you should NOT to play hard to get:
DO NOT Play Hard To Get: To get revenge or for “payback”…
DO NOT Play Hard To Get: To get the upper hand…
DO NOT Play Hard To Get: To calm your anxieties about the relationship…
DO NOT Play Hard To Get: To manipulate or control him…
DO NOT Play Hard To Get: To make him sweat for once…
DO NOT Play Hard To Get: To make him propose…
DO NOT Play Hard To Get: To get a commitment…
DO NOT Play Hard To Get: To flip the tables on him…
DO NOT Play Hard To Get: To win him back…
There are tons of reasons why you shouldn’t play hard to get, and really only one reason TO play hard to get.
What is that reason? That reason is to drive up your value – and the feelings of love – in your relationship. From a man who might not see it otherwise.
If you use hard to get correctly – a man will thank you for it!
The question isn’t IF you should – but how to do it with kindness and compassion.
Let’s start with the part you need to know:
Why Playing Hard To Get Works…
The reason this “game” works is because … well, it works!
The principle of why playing hard to get works is based on simple psychology.
It’s called the Scarcity Principle. It’s a principle that has been used on you for decades, and you might not have been aware of it. Advertisers and marketers use scarcity to drive up the perceived value of something in your mind.
And that’s exactly what scarcity does in his mind.
The Scarcity Principle: In social psychology, the scarcity principle refers to the tendency to place a higher value on things that are perceived as rare while devaluing things that are seen as common or abundant.
In the real world, this means that things you get easily are not valued. Things that you work to get – on the other hand – are seen as valuable.
For example, the harder it is to find oil and refine it, the higher the price is when you buy gas at the gas pumps.
The harder it is to get that college degree, the more it’s valued in the work world as something desirable on your resumé.
And the harder it is to get a date with someone, the more we value our time with them.
You should also know this principle works in both directions. BOTH of you should be a little “hard to get” from time to time. This will help each of you know the value of the other person.
Have you ever played a stringed instrument like a guitar or ukulele?
The sound is created when you pluck or strum the strings. This energy on the string starts it vibrating along the length of the string, which creates the sound. This is called resonance.
When you pluck the string of a guitar, you get the musical note that can be turned into music.
When you play hard to get with a guy, you’re basically plucking his heart string to get him to resonate with you. You’re starting the vibration of his heart string – activating his energy level for your relationship.
And yes – he will resonate with you.
A guy doesn’t appreciate a relationship that goes too easily. If you don’t pluck his string with some “hard to get” energy, he’s never going to really appreciate you.
You have to balance your nurturing with your self-care. And that means that you can’t just jump into a relationship and start trying to build it out as a marriage from the inside out. He has to see you as valuable all on his own BEFORE he will propose to you.
The fact is that a lot of guys propose because…
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How To Play Hard To Get