Relationship Advice

Man withdrawing from you? SOLVED!

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Man Withdrawing From You? SOLVED

Do you have a man withdrawing from you? And I’m not talking about withdrawing money from your bank account…

Are you wondering right now: “Why is my man pulling away from me?”

One thing I get asked all the time from men AND women is “Why does he/she do that?”

“THAT“ meaning anything that seems different or confusing. Why someone would pull away and withdraw from us is always confusing, painful, and difficult.

Women tend to notice men pulling away emotionally, and men notice when women pull away physically (sexually) from him. We are each wired to notice the other’s behavior in different ways.

You sense his feelings; he senses your level of physical intimacy.

So why does he pull away from you?

Why does it seem like you’re not even on his mind anymore?

Most men don’t have an emotional vocabulary to explain this stuff to you. So what I’ll do here for you is explain why men withdraw from a relationship.

Withdrawal Reason 1: He’s not emotionally mature.

I’m talking about those guys out there who never really worked to evolve their emotions beyond high school level interactions with other people.

A big sign of this problem is when you find yourself with a passive aggressive man. Passive aggressive behavior is when a guy won’t say DIRECTLY what it is he wants, but instead HINTS at it.

EXAMPLE: “I’m not mad.” (When you know darn well he is!)

EXAMPLE: “Fine. Whatever. I don’t care.” (When you know darn well he does!)

Sarcasm is another way men (and women) avoid connection and protect themselves when it comes to relationships.

So when you see him demonstrating these signals of immaturity, take a good close look. Most of the time you can see where his communication style evolved by observing his interaction with his mother and father. That will tell you quite a bit about where your communication will struggle.

You need a man with a healthy and mature ability to handle his feelings.

Withdrawal Reason 2: He’s got intimacy issues…

Let me be really clear here:

If you compare men to women, men will always appear to have “intimacy issues.”

Why is this?

Women are simply hard wired to connect about things in a more emotional level of communication. And it’s something most women have spent nearly every day thinking about since before they got in elementary school.

It’s like a sloth comparing himself to a kangaroo… the sloth always going to appear to have “speed” issues.

Can you imagine kangaroos huddling together and gossiping about sloths?

“Dude, can you believe how slow Dave is? I think he’s totally got speed issues. I’m going to get him to go see a therapist.”

That would sound a bit wacky, wouldn’t it? Sending a sloth to a therapist for something that is basically its nature?

And yet, that’s what women often think about guys who don’t express intimacy in the same way she does. In this case, men are declared “faulty,” immature, etc.

Mind you, there are men who do have intimacy issues. This is typically when a man is pulling away from intimacy because it genuinely scares him to be vulnerable to a woman.

And if we’re keeping the score accurately, women have just as many intimacy issues as men do. It’s the same deal for men and women.

(Just because you talk about emotions doesn’t mean you’re vulnerable and tuned in to why you’re feeling a certain way. Even good social skills doesn’t mean you’re better at intimacy…)

What’s important for you is to define intimacy for yourself first.

What kind of intimacy do you need?
What kind of intimacy does NOT work for you?
How often do you need it?
Do you need words, action, or some other kind of communication?
Do you really need to talk about his feelings, or can you accept that he may prefer demonstrating them? (instead of talking about them)
Can you handle it if a man’s “intimacy language” is different than yours is?
Once you’ve defined intimacy for yourself, you now have a clear idea of what you should look for in a relationship partner. And you probably won’t have him pulling away from you as much when he feels accepted.

(By the way, I explain how women disconnect from men emotionally HERE…)

Withdrawal Reason 3: He’s Just Not Sure…

What happens when a man feels like he’s not sure?


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Carlos Cavallo
Dating Advice Guru
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlosdatingguru
Man withdrawing from you? SOLVED!