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Relationship Advice

How to Save your Marriage in 7 Days

How to Save your Marriage in 7 Days
http://relationshipschool.com/7days
All right? What’s up, Jason here with another video on how to save your marriage in seven days a week? How to save your marriage in a week. Dude, who are you? Exactly? You don’t need to spend thousands of dollars on attorney fees or counseling fees to save your marriage, dragging someone into counseling when they don’t really want to be there. It doesn’t. You don’t need to do it that way. All right? So I’m going to give you a couple tips and then I’m gonna guide you to a resource. Alright? So number one is relax. I know this is going to be hard pill to swallow, but if you’re anxious because your marriage is about to end and your partner walked out the door or they’re cheating on you or something’s happening, um, your anxiety and fear going towards them, it’s like this. Think of like a monster that’s desperate.

All right? That’s going to be unattractive. It’s that person’s gonna want to just be like, Whoa, simmer down, like back away. Slowly. They’re not going to want to be in relationship with you. So you bringing your fear and anxiety to the table is not gonna help. So number one is breathe and relax. It’s what’s happening. You don’t have to like it. You can be in a lot of fear about it, but relax into the sensations of fear. The sensations of anxiety in your being may sound corny, but people who are the strongest in life can not let their emotions run them all right? That Warren buffet said this about the greatest investors financially is don’t expect to manage money. Well, if you can’t manage your emotions. I would say the same thing about marriage. Don’t expect to manage your marriage well if you can’t manage your emotions right. So right now you’ve got to manage and breathe into and relax into and feel your emotions without jumping on this runaway train. Okay?

So this is where mindfulness and meditation and yoga and just walking in nature all can help you calm the fuck down, right? Cause you need a dose of that right now. Calm down. Okay, now that we’re starting to reset, right? Just gotta reset, relax. It’s going to be okay. Even if the marriage ends relax. All right? I know. Look, Hey, I know you want it back. I know you want the connection back. I know you made a mistake or something happened and you’re like, Oh no. Okay, so the next tip is to take this relaxed space and a walk in nature, or you’re going to put on some relaxing, calming music and you’re going to get out your pen and paper and you’re in a journal a little bit, or you’re just going to lay in a hammock and reflect and think, and here’s what I want you to think about.

How did I get here? How did get here? Mm, how did I get here? What did I do or not do to contribute to this person leaving me or wanting to leave me? How did I behave? Now, here’s the thing. We’re not going into self blame here, okay? That’s what victims do. I’m not asking you to be a victim and go into, Oh, I’m such a loser. Nope, I’m talking about personal responsibility. That’s what we’re looking for here. What can you take responsibility for? Because eventually when you have a conversation with this person, you’re going to come back with personal responsibility. Not, Oh, I’m such a loser. I’m such a dumb ass or you’re such a loser. None of that. No self-blame or other blame. We’re not talking about that. Okay? I’m talking about what did I do or not to, well, I neglected our sex life. I had, I was running energy with someone else at work, meaning I was kind of like flirting with someone at work. Um, I didn’t attend to your needs. I didn’t respect you. I showed you disrespect. I didn’t respect myself. I got depressed and felt alone and I was so self absorbed in my own sh@t that I forgot about you.

[inaudible] what else could I take responsibility for? I, I came from an abusive family and therefore I was completely silent. When we get into conflict, I would just freeze and I never said anything and it never resolved my thing. Okay. Or I grew up in a really kind of traumatic household and all I know is under stress. When we get into conflict, I get aggressive and I get loud. And I get mean and I want to prove my point. Okay? That’s another form of responsibility, okay? I’m just taking responsibility for what I did or didn’t do. This is enormous, guys. This is so few adults in this world are taking responsibility for their behavior. Just blame, blame. Hey, incident is everyone else but me. Please don’t do that, okay? If you want a marriage and a longterm relationship, that’s good. That’s not gonna work, okay? That’s what little hurt teenagers and stuff do, okay?

That’s not you. You’re an adult, right? So get back in the driver’s seat of your reactivity. All right? And let’s start being an adult here. Okay? So those are a couple tips. Um, I could go on and on, uh, certainly listened to my podcast.
http://relationshipschool.com/7days