Relationship Advice

3 Reasons why you might be headed toward a break up

3 Reasons why you might be headed toward a break up

ESH Get Him To Care

What’s up guys. Jason here with a few tips on breakups. All right, so here’s three signs you’re headed for a breakup. All right? Three signs. You’re headed for a breakup. If you’re scared and you don’t want to be broken up with, you might want to pay attention to these warning sets. All right? Number one, you or them do not deal with conflict very well. You don’t want to deal with it. You avoid, you blame, you, shutdown you never fix it and never resolve it. Unresolved conflict is probably one of the single biggest reasons for divorce or breakups, right? So unresolved conflict is the reason. Number one, you might be headed toward a breakup. Reason number two, all right? They are scared. They’re scared, meaning you’re not doing anything wrong. Nothing’s bad’s happening, but they start pulling away and distancing themselves. Okay, this is what I did for years, and that means they might make you wrong with their friends or themselves in their own head or to your face, but that’s rarely, if ever the reason.

Usually it’s because they are scared to deal with their own shit. Or you in the context of what’s feeling like too close of a relationship. You know when you get really close to someone, after many years, the fire gets kind of hot and hot in like for some of us a negative way. It’s like, Ooh, that’s too hot. It’s getting too intense. Here I gotta eject. All right, so a lot of people will eject because they’re just straight up scared. Now if you interviewed these people after the fact, they would feel relieved. Why? Because they don’t feel their fear anymore. And then I’ll feel their triggers and that the annoyance anymore and they’re like, ah, so much better now. And they would probably deny that they were ever scared for 10 years I made women wrong that I dated and I always had it that it was them, not me.

But once I started understanding myself in psychology, I started going, Oh, actually I’m the problem. Okay, so that’s reason number two, you might be headed for a breakup, a number three, reason number three that you might be heading for a breakup. That it’s a warning sign that you want to pay attention to is that you are, you have a mountain of resentments, you’ve been tiptoeing around not dealing and not speaking truth and not speaking up because you’re afraid the person’s going to go away and now you’re resenting them years later, decades later, months later. So this is really interesting because people think it’s contrary. It’s, I’m kind of contradictory, it seems, which is, Oh, I’m, I don’t want this relationship to end so I won’t speak truth. I won’t say the hard thing. I won’t do the difficult thing here because I don’t want them to go away. But actually that’s accomplishing the opposite and you’re, you’re adding to the demise of the relationship.

The more you don’t speak up and tell your truth about what’s your feeling or what’s annoying to you or what’s not working for you or your needs, you’re not standing up for your needs. This relationship is probably headed towards a cliff because you’re not advocating for yourself. Think about it. I will never want to be in a relationship with you if you didn’t advocate for yourself. Like, how do I know where you stand? How do I know what works for you and what doesn’t work for you? Right? Speak up. Tell the truth in your partnership. Yes, they might get triggered. Yes, they might get upset, yes, they might leave, but guess what? It makes room for someone who can handle your truth, who wants your truth, who, yes, will get triggered by your truth, but it’s like willing to work through it with you. Okay.

Back to reason number one that you might be headed for a breakup, right? So pay attention to these three warning signs. I think they’re very straight forward. Helpful to just have in your awareness, and a lot of this remember is because people are unwilling to deal with adversity in themselves or the other person. That’s the biggest reason for breakups can, I’ve interviewed hundreds of people from my podcast and really it’s the same common answer over and over again. No matter how many relationship experts I talked to, it’s like peoples inability and unwillingness to deal with their own activation in their own shit. That creates separations, creates breakups, creates divorce. All right, sure. There’s other reasons I get it, but at the end of the day, it’s this big common one. So do the preventative work so that you don’t end up alone. Here, I’m feeling bad and hurt, broken, et cetera.