Why Men Disappear…Without a Trace!
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For Wendy Newman, finding her true love didn’t come easy. In fact, it took her 121 first dates to finally find the man of her dreams.
It took 121 first dates to realize what she liked and needed in a man, and she learned incredibly valuable life and love lessons along the way.
Believe Wendy when she says that finding love will take effort and time. You may feel as though you’re losing hope and that you’ll never find the man of your dreams-but don’t lose hope.
There are quite a few dating misconceptions that may be keeping you from getting into the relationship you’re longing for.
This week, Wendy and I discuss three dating myths busted!
You’ve met a man, and you’re on that very first date-all seems to be going well, but you can’t determine whether or not he’s in it for the long run or if he’s only looking to have fun.
You feel the urge to write all about yourself on your dating profile, to show a man that you’re nurturing and wife-material.
In this circumstance, men have it right-say less and listen more, and you’ll realize that many man are looking for a long-term relationship, but they would much rather learn about what makes you fun and unique. Remember, he doesn’t know you yet. He doesn’t want to hear about your dreams of that white-picket fence and the house on the hill. He wants to know if the both of you can truly and deeply connect with one another.
On your first date, ask him about his life, listen, and sit back as he allows himself to open up to you. Let him lead the conversation and refrain from asking him his relationship goals. Let him tell you!
When it comes to relationships, it’s easy to blame men for not wanting to commit.
The truth is, though, men take commitment very seriously-if we don’t take the time to analyze both our masculine and feminine sides, we can misunderstand the ways in which we as males and females commit to each other.
You may find it incredibly easy to say “yes” to the man you’re dating and commit to him quickly. You’ll move in together and find the relationship moving forward at an alarmingly fast rate. You love him, but you’ll want to change him to fit into the mold of perfection you’ve envisioned.
For him, commitment means something very different. He doesn’t want to change you, and if there’s something about you that he knows won’t mesh with his own idiosyncrasies, you won’t commit to you in the ways that you might find perfectly reasonable. As a man, he needs to feel accountable for his actions, and he won’t commit to someone he doesn’t have the time for or who he doesn’t think will work out in a relationship.
You’re dating a man and everything seems great. You feel a connection to him, and you want to take the relationship to the next level. You know that the relationship is headed toward heaving sex for the first time with him, so you hold out-you apply the sure-fire “90-day” rule.
But then, he leaves.
For men, sex happens when both parties feel ready. They’ve had all the necessary conversations, and they’ve sorted out just what the other needs the next day, whether it be a phone call or a text. There is no wrong time to have sex, and more often than not, holding out can push him farther away and cause him to leave. Men don’t see sex as a determinant as to whether or not the relationship will blossom and progress-it’s simply a fun thing to do with someone they really like or love.
What do you think about Wendy’s dating advice on three dating myths busted? Let us know in the comments below!
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Suzanne Oshima, Matchmaker & Dating Coach at Dream Bachelor & Bachelorette & the Founder of Single in Stilettos (http://www.singleinstilettos.com)
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